The Realization of My ThanksI had previously lived a life of chaos and hurtWith self-esteem no higher than dirtNever knowing what it was like to be put firstI was used to being confused and scaredFinding nothing but the gallows of despairI was always neglectedAlways feeling like I didnt belongOr even acceptedWaiting for the next time To just be rejectedI couldnt help the feelings I hadMixed emotions of feeling mad and sadI couldnt help that I was treated badAnd thats what made me so apprehensiveRunning from my feelings insideTrying to scurry to get awayTrying to hideI had no other optionsUntil that day I was thankfullyPut up for adoptionAnd Im sorry to say, because of my pastWhen I first arrived, I made it clear, very fastThat I wasnt going to make it easyI didnt make it easy for my new family, Im sureFor they hadnt experienced anything like me beforeMaking them second think about letting me stayI was always fiercely pushing them awayFighting and struggling to keep them at bayUnintentional of courseI honestly never meant any harmAnd I finally realize and see how I always held out my armsTrying to protect myself from foreshadowed painThat wasnt even therePain I hallucinated in my brainBut now.a pain of constant remorseSeems to find a way to seep from my poresAnd torments me with a piercing ring of Satans roarYet.Through everythingMy parents seemed to understandDoing their best to keep me safe and warmAlways offering a helping handWinning the battle I set forth in silent demandThese are the reasons whyId like to pause, from my selfish agendaAnd take this dwindling timeTo forget about mine or anyones criteriaTo let the two people I love the absolute mostKnow how truly grateful I amThat they came for me and left the safe coastI will thank them until the day I dieAnd do the same for the future children of mineI want to strip my outer peelAnd apologize for the bad thingsThe bad things Ive done that I thought were no big dealFor when I challenged the reasons of staying safeBeneath your wingsThrough all these years of my lifeMy parents have made sure they were inevitably thereMaking sure I wouldnt be cut on that infamous knifeTheyve been there when Ive fallen hardWhen I thought there was no way to get upWhen I was hurt, lonely, scared, and jarredWhen I didnt want to move, give up, and abortThan out of no whereWhen I was laying to rotThey came to my aide, with encouragement and supportDoing what they could without a second thoughtBringing me home, safe in their fortWhether it was me or them at our best or worstThey did anything and everything for meTo make me feel like I was number one, put in firstOn rainy days and on sunny daysIf it was in the cold of December or in the warmth of MayThey never left my sideTeaching me what rules to live by and abideAlways there to protect and defend meSomehow always showing me the lightShowing me the battles to avoid or fightEven if I was right or I was wrongThey would give me the chance to tell them how I thought it should beAnd sometimes, the times they didnt agreeThey did there best, as long as no harm was for seenTo leave it up to me, and let myself seeMy parents helped me comprehendWhat the meaning of a family truly isThey found a way to reach meTo show me that I am worth more than sandSomething Ive struggled with, something Ive always missedI now know my importance in this lifeWhat its like to finally be put firstTo feel love of warmth, instead of the harshness of iceAnd now I know how it feels to be genuinely cared forTo feel alive, to have finally quenched my thirstTo unlock the chains on my hearts steel doorI now have no doubts from now through forever moreThey always seemed to know the outcome of my actionsAnd even if there were going to be wretched consequencesThere was one thing Id be sure of when I got their reactionThey were always willing to trust and forgive, just one more timeAlways giving me a hopeful second chanceA second time to relearn the danceOf the things Ive done to take advantage of thisIm sorry and wish it was fixable with simple kissesBut I cant, I can only try to make up for my past missesMy parents have stuck beside me through the thick and the thinNever allowing any of us, to throw the towel inThis is what Ive learned from being part of a familyYou never give up even in the worst of timesYou simply try to settle it calmlyYou stick together through lifes twist and turnsStaying side by side day or nightEven if the hear it so hot it burnsStaying connected by love and loves fightI love you mom and dad w/all my heart and Ive been working on this piece for a whileI miss yall very much and want to talk to yall tomorrow.I love you guysSorry I didnt call tonightI wanted to get some things settled before we talkedbut I am thinking about yallWords/ Pages : 849 / 24